To the New Mama Looking for Time

of course on top of my love of makeup and beauty I am first and foremost a mommy. I have a lot of new mommies on my Facebook and it’s safe to say that having a 6 month old and two toddlers has made me do a lot of thinking about what I wish I could’ve told myself when my daughter was born three years ago, but I can’t do that.. So maybe for other new moms out there I can help somehow.

If you’re a new mother with a messy house that can’t seem to find a moment to yourself.. If you secretly wish your tiny baby would grow up just a tiny bit and be a little less dependent on you so you can at least sleep through the night again, so you can go to the bathroom alone again, so you can watch a movie with your husband alone without him waking every hour to nurse. If you’re exhausted from hearing a baby cry all day and all you want is a little quiet time then just remember that one day your little one will be all grown up with a home of their own. You’ll have a spotless house. A silent house. No babies in your bed. An empty nest. They are only so little for such a little while, and when they are three you begin to wonder when they learned to put their shoes on themselves, dress themselves, put themselves to bed, tell you what they need, go to the bathroom by themselves.. You wonder where that tiny baby went. Don’t worry so much about sleep schedules, eating schedules, whether you’re holding the baby too much, what your mother thinks, what the book says, what Facebook says. Just love your tiny human the way you want to love your tiny human, because you will never look back and regret holding that sweet baby too much, or loving him too much. When they say it goes by quickly you don’t understand how right they are until those precious first months are gone forever. The days may pass slowly.. But the years.? They fly by.

A New Year

A New Year

2015 has been the year of most change for me (and my hubby,) by far. We have struggled. I lost the best man I ever knew when I was eight months pregnant. I buried that man on my birthday at a funeral that I had to plan. We met the little boy who’s going to call me mama. I counted his fingers and toes. I cried. I cried a lot. We bought a new home, and said goodbye to our first one. We bought two cats. We watched our little girls turn three. Our lives have changed in more ways than I can begin to count, and yet here I am wondering where 2015 went.

Wasnt January just a couple months ago.?

2016 has snuck up on me fast, and I’m having trouble figuring out who it is I want to be this year. What I want to do..

I want to get back into photography. I want to finish my studio, and offer makeup/ bodouir package sessions, because those are two things that make me happy.

I want to be a better wife to my husband. Some days I worry that he only gets the worst of me, and I’ve been working on it. I want 2016 to be our best year yet.

I want to do my makeup often. I want to do it on the days I’m not leaving the house, and even if I have no one to impress. I want to to do what I love.

I’m going to continue to give my babies everything that I have.

I want to spend as much time with family as I can. Losing people will show you how short our time here really is.

More than anything I want to be kinder to myself. I’ve been trying to be more body positive. More loving towards myself..  It’s hard. I suffered from anorexia, and bulimia as a teenager, and I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror, especially after two babies. I try to look in the mirror every day and find three things to love about myself. I’m trying to take Aaron’s words to heart when he tells me so often how beautiful I am. I’m trying to see myself through his eyes.

I don’t have any major changes to make in 2016. I’m pretty pleased with where I am, and where my life is going. All I want to do in this new year is to continue becoming a better me. 

I want to continue trying to love myself for me, and for everything I have to offer so that I can teach my little humans how to do the same.
*photo by Cody & Allison Photography*